i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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