Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize