i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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