I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize