saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize