Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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