I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize