I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
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Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
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I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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