In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
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Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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