you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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