operation have a gay friend backfired
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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