I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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