Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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