Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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