yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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