I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize