Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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