Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
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No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
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She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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