he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize