He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
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His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
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i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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