I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize