there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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