I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
The uberlube is also flammable
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize