his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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