I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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