i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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