shes about as inviting as chlamydia
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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