I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize