Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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