I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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