Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize