I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize