Texts From Last Night

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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Whiskey dick.

  (810): View more from Michigan

  Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Everyday of my life.

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  (417): Whiskey dick. (810): Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it. (417): Everyday of my life. http://tfl.nu/axyq
  Replies (3) Good night (729) Bad night (921)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  dude, she has braces

  (240): View more from Maryland

  i meant the dude w the ponytail.

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.

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  (717): dude, she has braces (240): i meant the dude w the ponytail. (717): i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o. http://tfl.nu/8ov5
  Replies (3) Good night (467) Bad night (915)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible

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  (859): I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible http://tfl.nu/51ze
  Replies (22) Good night (508) Bad night (2846) Order T-Shirt
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  (212): View more from New York

  I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.

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  (212): I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home. http://tfl.nu/lyh0
  Replies (7) Good night (2282) Bad night (536) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar

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  (740): They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar http://tfl.nu/y62m
  Replies (10) Good night (4711) Bad night (609) Order T-Shirt
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again

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  (912): then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again http://tfl.nu/50xv
  Replies (28) Good night (903) Bad night (4756) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.

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  (360): I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink. http://tfl.nu/xse5
  Replies (6) Good night (4366) Bad night (651) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?

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  (516): I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you? http://tfl.nu/jwce
  Replies (6) Good night (2657) Bad night (788) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him

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  (612): I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him http://tfl.nu/slwx
  Replies (12) Good night (3947) Bad night (1483) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.

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  (412): Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently. http://tfl.nu/q1xe
  Replies (1) Good night (900) Bad night (719) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.

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  (540): I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win. http://tfl.nu/n6kc
  Replies (12) Good night (1692) Bad night (290) Order T-Shirt
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.

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  (812): I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend. http://tfl.nu/7cvr
  Replies (13) Good night (1489) Bad night (692) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.

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  (513): Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause. http://tfl.nu/cvb4
  Replies (2) Good night (809) Bad night (492) Order T-Shirt
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.

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  (937): And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars. http://tfl.nu/ldzi
  Replies (4) Good night (779) Bad night (210) Order T-Shirt
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of

  (514): View more from Quebec

  of drugs

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  (514): Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of (514): of drugs http://tfl.nu/70rd
  Replies (2) Good night (406) Bad night (218)

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