Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize