from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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