It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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