Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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