bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize