Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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