Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
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At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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