I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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