New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize