Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
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I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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