i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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