Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
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she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
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I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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