Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is this the sara with the beer cane?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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