fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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