There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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