OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
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My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
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I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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