you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
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MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
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"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
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