I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize