I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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